My vagina has the worst taste. I’m saltier than tahm that time he had to eat four boxes of salt and take a urine test. Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Makes me saltier than Tahm Cahnrad finding out that lego has been discontinued, his band broke up, and instead of a bed, he now has Lot’s wife. Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

After getting out of the box of salt, inside the box of salt, inside a larger box of salt, on a salty planet, in the Salty Way. And being given a bath and a large glass of room temperature water. So unsalty. Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

In a box of salt, inside a larger box of salt, inside an even larger box of salt, on a planet made out of salt. In the Salty Way. This is what Miranda July and Michael Chabon do to me. Eat my toenails, Buttheads. Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Has me saltier than tahm cahnrad working in a cracker factory, getting stuck in the giant salt dispense and having to eat his way out. Jfc. Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

The big eff you goes to life today. Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Big eff you to the area around chapters. It’s hot! Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Christopher. :( Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

DRWPs. We’re looking at you, t-bag. Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Makes Meghan and Melinda saltier than Tahm Cahnrad stuck in a Tyvex suit humping a parking meter in Bermuda. Sure, it’s sunny, but he’s not even paying the whore and he’s still in Tyvex humping a pole!!!! Gahd! Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Name-droppers. Nobody gives a shit if you met Stephanie Meyers at Comic-Con. And nobody cares about how you’re “so picky about music. Emo, punk, rock, and metal. Definitely metal. I’m a huge My Chemical Romance fan.” Hey, so am I, but they aren’t metal, you annoying girl. Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry

Bitches too big for their britches. Sent on the TELUS Mobility network with BlackBerry